Recognition
by FrostedIce
Summary: All Remus Lupin ever wanted was to be accepted.


Sighing, Remus Lupin took a sip of his water. Ever since the escape of his ex-friend, the Professor had been on edge and rather peaky; this was not counting the upcoming full moon. Flinching, Remus remembered, he had to pick up his Wolfsbane potion from Snape. Running his hand over his neck, the former Gryffindor stood up and walked out of his office.

The corridors reminded him of his long lost Marauder days. The days when James, Sirius, Peter and he would wander the halls in the dead of night, underneath the Invisibility Cloak. It seemed like nothing scared them; they were invincible. Those were the days when the sound of his friend's laughter was all it took for him to smile and feel at ease. Those were the days when Peter wasn't secretive, James was pinning after Lily, Sirius was the white sheep of the Black's, and Remus was always wondering what he did to deserve friends; people who accepted him. They accepted him for what he was during a full moon, despite any near attacks he had on them; they loved him. It was in the halls Remus currently walked that he discovered what acceptance and love really were.

Coming upon the Potions classroom door, Remus inhaled a deep breath before knocking. This should be the last time he would need to visit Snape before the Christmas holiday, which was only a week away. The door opened and Remus walked in and grimaced at the smell. It was a strong odor of various potions being mixed together. His eyes wandered to where the smell came from. A cauldron that had a purple fog emitting from the top of it; Snape stood behind it, smirking. Instead of mentioning it, Remus walked over to Snape's desk.

"I'm assuming this is the potion?" He questioned, taking a look at the bubbling mass.

"Indeed," came Snape's curtly reply before he summoned a large flask and began adding small amounts of the potion on the desk.

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Excuse my bluntness, but that does not look like any of the previous Wolfsbane potions that you have made me, Severus."

A look of irritation and anger flashed in Snape's eyes. "You think I would give you the wrong potion?" he hissed.

"I did not say that, Severus. I am only curious."

Snape nodded. "I see. Well, to ease your mind, I've added a small amount of aconite." Remus nodded. His words were believable and Remus knew that Snape would never do anything to jeoapordize his relationship with the Headmaster.

"Very well. Thank you, Professor," he said lightly before grasping the flask and hiding it in his cloak. His walk to his office was slow as he collected his thoughts. When he came upon his office door, he was surprised to find it open; he closed it when he left. He walked in and closed the door.

"If you need help with any assignments you will need to see me in the morning, I am not feeling very well at the moment," he said cautiously while looking around the room for any sign of a student. He seen nothing. His eyebrows crinkled while his right hand slowly grasped his wand.

His whole body froze at the sound of a deep voice coming from a shadow in the corner. "'Not feeling very well' should be an understatement, Remus." His heart froze. It was him. He was suppose to be Azkaban. Away from those he could cause danger to. Remus could smell a horrible stench coming from _him. _Slowly, Remus turned. In only a matter of seconds he came face-to-face with Sirius Black. Sirius Black, the friend who betrayed James and Lily; The friend who knew Remus' darkest secret.

The friend who loved and accepted him.

Shaking away his thoughts, Remus pointed his wand fiercely at Sirius' chest. Surprisingly, Sirius raised his arms in surrender. It was only then that Remus truly looked at his former friend. His skin was sickly pale, and Remus could see the bones underneath his flesh. His eyes were worn and tired, blackness surrounded them. His hair was oily and clumped together in some places. Remus felt his heart go out to the man before him but then his pity turned to anger when he thought of what he did only thirteen years before.

"How did you get out of Azkaban?" he hissed, digging his wand further in Sirius' chest.

"Remus, let me explain," Sirius said through gritted teeth.

"Answer me!"

"I will answer you when you get that bloody stick out of my chest!"

Remus eyed Sirius suspiciously before withdrawing his wand. "You have five minutes." He listened patiently. He listened to every word that came from Sirus' mouth and, despite himself, he believed him. How could he not? Everything tied in. Peter Pettigrew wasn't dead and Sirius wasn't James and Lily's Secret Keeper when they were murdered. Remus sat in shock for what seemed like hours until he finally looked up at Sirius.

"Why should I believe you?" he asked quietly.

"Because, I wouldn't lie to you, Remus. James was my best friend. He was my brother. Everywhere I went, I wanted him there too. You know that." His grey eyes stayed fixed on the floor until he finally looked up; tears in his grey eyes. "I as good as killed them, though."

Remus remained quiet. What could he say? First, his former friend escaped from prison only to somehow sneak into one of the safest places in the Wizarding World. Now he tells Remus how everything that he believed to have happened on October thirty-first years ago had never happened. Now, in only a matter of a few hours, Remus would be someone he hated. Someone he despised; a monster. How could his day get worse?

Sighing, Remus stood and walked over to his desk, grabbing the flask in his hand and sitting in on the desk. Sirius stood up and surveyed the flask quizzically. "It's Wolfsbane," Remus answered his questioning stare, "It makes the transformation less painful." Sirius nodded.

"How does it taste?" he asked with a look of disgust as he looked at the odd coloring.

Remus chuckled bitterly. "Not so good. I can only expect it to taste worse since Snape added more aconite in it, though. But I add sugar to sweeten it."

Sirius rummaged in his pockets before reaching Remus a small flask with an orange potion in it. "Take this, it will make the taste less horrible." When Remus eyed it warily, Sirius added, "Take it. I wouldn't give you anything that would harm up. Trust me." Remus nodded and took the flask. When he didn't add it to his other flask, Sirius sighed impatiently and done it for him. The Wolfsbane turned a darker color.

"When will the moon be rising anyway?" Sirius asked, looking outside the window.

"In about an hour, actually." Remus' heart dropped as he said it.

"You want me to come with you?" Sirius asked daringly, his eyes becoming glinted with danger like they did when he was seventeen. Becoming sadder at the thought, Remus shook his head.

"I can handle it."

They spoke until it came time for Remus to visit the Shrieking Shack. Sirius explained to Remus everything; how he escaped Azkaban, where he was the night James and Lily were killed, and how he snuck into Hogwarts. When it finally came time for Remus to leave, they both stood.

"Where will you be staying?" Remus asked.

"If I told it, I'd have to kill you." Sirius chuckled before his smile turned to a frown. "Who does he look like?"

Even though he gave no name, Remus knew who he was talking about. "He looks like James but he has Lily's eyes. Amazing Quidditch player too."

Sirius nodded. "I'll have to watch him some day." Before Remus could say anything, Sirius transformed into his Animagus form and ran down the corridor.

Remus sighed as he pulled the large flask out of his cloak. Hopefully, Snape and Sirius' potions would work. At first, Remus was reluctant to even drinking the new potion. What if it was dangerous? What if the three potions mixed together proved deadly? Shaking away the thoughts, Remus brought the flask to his lips, drinking every sip of it. Sirius was right, his potion really did take away the bitterness of the original potion.

A horrible pain shot through Remus' back and he yelled in pain. Before he could react properly, another pain shot through his whole body; starting from his head and ending at his feet. It felt like his skin was ripping as he felt hair sprout viciously on his back. Then, he was Remus no more.

He crouched before leaping out of the window and running in the Forbidden Forest. His eyes searched for any prey.

**7:00 PM**

A horrible feeling overcame him as he howled once more. His stomach, feeling like it was about to burst from either hunger or pain, began shaking on its own. He tried to run, but only got a few feet before falling over.

**12:00 AM**

He now resorted to crawling. The pain was unbearable and he couldn't stop himself from howling continuously in pain. It was like someone was cutting his insides every minute, never letting up.

**7:00 AM**

The pain was worse. Every part of his body ached in an excruciating pain. His head fell over as a sign of giving up. He began coughing. Scarlett stained his teeth.

**5:00 PM**

Why hadn't he changed back? Why? It was nearly a day since the full moon, since he took the Wolfsbane and he was still a monster. Still. A sharp pain shot through his whole body and the monster howled in pain. He couldn't move. It was as if his whole body was paralyzed and he could only howl in pain.

**5:55 PM**

Suddenly, a new pain overcame him and he found himself transforming. Before he knew it, he was Remus Lupin again. He was dying. The thought somehow soothed him; he would no longer be a monster. Moving his arms slowly, he raised his ripped shirt, revealing bruises and blood inside him. When he tried to move his head farther, a sharp pain overtook him and his head fell back violently.

Before he took his last breath, Remus Lupin thought of three things:

**"You think I would give you the wrong potion?"**

Trust me.  
__

All he ever wanted was to be accepted.


End file.
